When: 16/09/2010

Where: Munich, Germany

Stayed: The Holiday Inn Munich

The easiest way to sum up our trip to Oktoberfest is to paint a picture of the day after. ‘Don’t turn the light on…don’t speak so loudly…I have to get off this train…I can’t talk for the next few hours…no seriously, where are the bathrooms…’ just a snapshot of the conversations that took place while bearing the weight of a hangover from hell. A 7 hour delayed flight compounded the carnage at the airport and I’m still surprised we managed to make it home without calling the paramedics. But oh the party was more than worth the pain!

Never have we felt more ignorant as travellers than when we arrived in Munich. Despite 99% of the locals having almost perfect English, being unable to say more than ‘hello’ and ‘cheers’ in the native language was actually quite embarrassing. A shop keeper made sure I knew just how culturally insensitive I was by responding to my question in German before demanding in English ‘what do you want’. I’m pretty sure he told me to stick the book where the sun don’t shine but despite my ruffled feathers, I wasn’t exactly in a position of power to argue with him. Mental note, always learn some basic conversation in the native language before travelling.

We found the city of Munich to be interesting, upbeat and extremely friendly. Food markets stocking all kinds of bavarian food, tales of earlier evil times ringing out accross the city (despite obvious attempts from many tour guides to avoid the topic), more beer halls than I’ve seen in my life and a mandate that you must eat pastry for breakfast. Amazing how quickly you adapt to your surroundings – between the pastries, sausages, potatoes and beer I’m pretty sure we came home with considerably more luggage than we arrived with.

The lowlight was the much hyped ‘Glockenspiel’. Literally thousands of tourists stood around waiting for the excitement to start… I’ll spare you the details but essentially we (together with our friends Carly and Mark) lasted all of 3 minutes before we headed off in search of a beer hall.
Of course the beer hall we found was the iconic ‘Hofbrauhaus’. After joining a young group of friendly pommies we proceeded to engross ourselves in the local ritual of drinking steins. It’s amazing how quickly you forget that each stein contains 1 litre of beer. 35 repetitions of ‘Ein Prosit’ with our steins in the air and we headed home to prepare for Weisen.

We arrived at Theresienwiese around 8.30am thinking we’d beat the majority of the crowds. We quickly discovered that 20,000 other people thought the same thing. After selecting a beer tent at random, we stood in a packed line before being hearded at a great rate of knots inside where we jumped onto a table. The beer tent we joined was called Augustiner Brau and the host informed us that around 10,000 litres were drunk in this tent everyday of the festival. We of course did our best to ensure they hit that target. The photos fairly accurately (or frighteningly) depict how our day played out but here’s a summary:

1. Absolutely everyone’s your friend, especially if you have a table to share
2. The only exception to point 1 may be certain groups of Aussies – we nearly came to blows with a group who were intent on sticking their elbows into our back. Some colourful conversations ensued!
3. Always remember that a stein contains 1litre of beer
4. Some of the best relationship advice can be imparted in stacato English to the locals after 3 Steins
5. Learn the words to ‘Ein Prosit’ because you’ll sing it at least 80 times
6. Always carry plastic bags with you the day after Oktoberfest…try and avoid travel if possible
7. The hosts in the beer halls can carry up to 14 steins in one go – stay out of the way!
8. The locals visit the festival in sittings; the tourists plough on through 12 hours of drinking. Say no more.
9. Don’t wait till your busting to use the toilet as the line will push your bladder to the point of explosion
10. Regardless of how appealing a sausage seems after 12 hours of drinking – it most certainly is not a good idea
11. The dark beer has a laxative affect, some of us who got a bit excited learnt that the hard way
12. Don’t attempt to buy the Lederhosen (men) or Dirndl (women) in munich as you’ll pay in excess of 200 Euro for it

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